i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You had me at "let me see your balls"
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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