I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
