Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
