I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Randomize
