I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
