i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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