Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
