I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
