Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I can't turn off my feet"
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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