yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
