I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
