so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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