One girl and one boy is just not enough.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
