Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
In America we eat man semen.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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