I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
