I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
