I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
