I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Someone signed my nipple.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
