You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
