what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You were trust falling into bushes
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
