I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
