we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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