So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
