so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
