this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
