One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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