i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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