it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize