Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I don't deserve a penis
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
