I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
