So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
