i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
