i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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