Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
