i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
