My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
