i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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