Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
