The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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