I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
