it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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