You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
