can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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