So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
