drinking out of a sandbucket again
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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