Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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