Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
