Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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