nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
