I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
