So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
