My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize