I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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