I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
