when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
