If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
