the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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