Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
