Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Your cock deserves a montage
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize